February is Teen Dating Violence month, let’s rename it

healthy rel

Did you know February is Teen Dating Violence month.

First, let’s talk about the name itself. “Teen Dating Violence Awareness”. This means that we are bringing awareness to teen dating violence. I think we need to change all of this….starting with the name.

Yes, we all need to be aware of teen dating violence, but why don’t we become aware of what a healthy relationship is?  Why don’t we become aware of what it is to treat a person right, respectful, and generally a decent person? Why don’t we bring awareness to the healthy relationships that are actually out there?  There are hundreds, possibly thousands, of great relationships out there…..where are the examples?  Where are the kudos?  Where are the “ata girl” “ata boy”?  Instead…we become aware of the violence. Intervention groups will say, if “they” don’t know what a unhealthy relationship is they won’t be able to find that they are in one. The intervention groups will also say that everyone must see what abuse is because we never speak about familial abuse, so they will never know what is wrong or right.

healthy rel3How do we learn math?

We are explained the concept. We are explained the definitions we need to know. We are explained how to do the math. Then we are given examples.

Are these examples of how not to do the math?  NO!

Are these examples of how the math looks when it’s done wrong?  No!

Are these examples of what the problem looks like after it’s done wrong,a nd what the grade would then look like?  NO!

Are these examples of the multiple times in history that this math has been done wrong?  NO!

Are these examples of all the way it could be done wrong?  NO!

Are these many examples on how we have to pay attention to ALL the things we have to look out for if it is done wrong?  No!

healthy rel2Are these examples of the way your parents learned it, so you won’t make those mistakes?  No!

After the examples, we are then asked to try it…this would be called homework.

(This si what we do when we speak about teen dating violence…by the way)

When we do the homework….we bring it back and accept the criteria that has caused us to do it wrong and then are educated by someone who knows how to do the math as to what we are doing wrong.

Then we do it right!  Yay us!

In my opinion, this is how we should be talking about dating…not giving these crazy examples of the bad…but give awesome examples of a healthy relationship. Awesome examples of the good.

Go out and find examples of people who have GREAT relationships….there are many out there. Go out and find relationships that are simple awesome. Focus on the greatness of love…and if it’s anything else: leave, or safety plan to leave.

Who are great examples of healthy relationships that you know of?  Why?

healthy rel 1




  1. I completely agree on where we put the focus on this issue! We should be coming from, here’s what a healthy relationship looks like or here’s how to point out the positive things you like about friends or partners. How about “Teen Healthy Relationship Awareness Month!”

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