A glance in the mirror

When I was 30..I looked into the mirror.

A face of defeat and sadness looked back at me. I had graduated high school, moved to Florida, took 7 years and four schools to graduate with more student loans and credits that I knew what to do with. I graduated with a bachelors of English literature and writing, a bachelors of meteorology, a minor of history and philosophy, and an associates in aeronautical science. What do you do with this…take any job that will let you write or do something.

I worked at call centers.

That day of 30…I decided this would all change, but I didn’t know how. I was angry. I was angry that my mom was dead. I was angry I had a horrible house to grow up in. I was angry that we were ALWAYS poor. I was angry there was always violence – outside and inside of the house. I was angry that my girlfriend wasn’t what I wanted. I was angry I brought a child into this world. I was angry I had an ex. I was angry most of all….that I was working at call centers and not doing what I wanted: teach/speak/etc.

That day I looked in the mirror and promised myself that all of this would change!  I promise.

We must change ourselves to change the world.

We must change ourselves to change the world.

 

So I spent the rest of the day drinking Blackberry Merlot and watching Star Wars.

The day after, I got on the computer and decided I would be a teacher. I had done this before. I had failed before. I failed that day too.

2 days after 30 – I went to work, got written up for being too nice, got talked to for spending too much time helping people, and then came home to anger. I took a shower. I looked in the mirror and said: I will change me. HOW?  Please tell me how. I heard laughter outside the bathroom door.

3 days after 30 – I wrote poetry and short stories all day, and forgot to call into work. I got a call that I was fired. My girlfriend told me I had 1 week to get another job. I finished the Blackberry Merlot.

About a month later, and working in yet another dead-end call center I decided I needed to work on me some more. So I decided for the next 6 days, I would be HAPPY! I would find things to be happy about. On day 4, I changed this to 1 month and I would be more positive.

In the beginning of the month, I was walking out of the bank. I was pleading with the bank teller to reverse NSF (insufficient funds fees) fees on my account. The manager and the teller told me no. I remembered my goal, and wished them a good day. They chuckled, and I wrote a small happy face on a post it and gave it to the teller.

When I walked out, I would love to say I was in a happy sunny disposition…but I wasn’t, I ran into a young lady and papers flew everywhere. Pre-30 and after many many people had degraded, beat(literally), disrespected, and tore up my ideals and my ideas….I was an angry person. If I would have bumped into this lady…I would have laughed. This day…I did not. I apologized and helped her chase down her papers as the wind blew them everywhere you wouldn’t want to chase papers. After many near accidents, near car hits, and a less than acrobatic smash into a brick wall, i was able to give her back all her papers. She smiled and said thank you. I noticed one of the papers was Shakespeare…and I expounded my English lit knowledge of Shakespeare and that passage. She was impressed and invited me to be a teacher.

At the end of 5 years of teaching I was asked to help prevent violence. This was great because…my classes were turning into motivational and inspirational speeches anyway. FCAT watchers don’t like that.

I’m now 38…8 years after that fateful birthday. I’m everything I have ever wanted to be.

I am a visionary.

I am a motivational speaker.

I am an educator.

I am me.

In the end, wherever you sit right now is the beginning of your future. It is the beginning of your next step. It is the beginning of your everything!

The best advice I have for anyone:

Start being happy. Look for the happiness in all things. Look for happy notes, happy letters, and happy people.

Start helping others. Look for ways to help others. (Note: Daily Motivating for Positive change) Help people because you want to!

Do something towards your new you every day.

 

 

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