How to become who you want to be

The title of this post sounds like a destination…you will never arrive!

Note: You will never arrive because you are already there. Where you are working to go is some time in the future. That future is unknown and uncertain….you are not creating a place destination, you are creating a new YOU! You are here NOW…from this now, you will create a future NOW.

In order to change the world, change yourself. Be the change you want to see!

In order to change the world, change yourself. Be the change you want to see!


This entire post is how to change yourself into someone you want to be. Remember, all the core ideas and values that are you…are already inside of you. The mere fact that you know you want to change says that you know the way you are right now is not the person you want to be. The mere fact you have an idea of the way you want to be, means that those ideas and ideals are already inside of you…you just have to let them out. Giving yourself permission is very important in this process.

Step 1. List all the GREAT things about yourself. There should be at least 15.

If you can’t come up with 15, you’re not trying or looking hard enough. I was teaching a group of people in a jail. I asked them to do this. One of the men yelled,”I’m in fuckin jail. There’s nothing good about me let alone great.” I smiled and asked,” Are you afraid to speak in front of public (ala his outburst).” When he said no, I asked everyone else who was afraid to speak in public. All of the hands went up. BTW – The number 1 fear in this world is public speaking, death is second. After that, he picked up a pencil and begin writing. In fact, he was a pretty great person who had made some bad choices.

Now that you have listed these things. Walk away till tomorrow. Ask a friend to hold onto the list.

When you come back read the list like you were reading it about someone else. You will realize your greatness. When you realize your greatness, you will realize your ability to change. When you realize you have the asbility to become great and exactly the person you want to be….the door is open!

Step 2. Start being happy.

The number 1  that all people who are who they want to have is the ability to be happy. Happiness is not achieved because of an accumulation of things, ideas, thoughts, or achievements….happiness is a decision. Lau Tse who wrote the Tao te Ching says that “The only way to happiness, is happiness. The more happy you are, the more happy you will be. Choose happiness!

1st step in being happy is to list all the things you are fortunate to have and be. You have food, you have legs, you have arms, you aren’t sick, etc. When you have 30 (yes, find 30) reread it. Reread it again. That’s right…there are so many things to be happy about. Look around!  You have ti better than many! That fact alone is a happy thought.

Look for the happiness in all things. Every action, thought, idea, and experience has an extra ladel of happiness into it if you look for it. Car got destroyed, new car in the future …everyone locves a new care. Lost love, awesome love in the future…..can’t wait for that 1st kiss. 1st kisses are awesome.  Lost things…time to go shopping for new things. This time the things will be exactly what you want.  Finally,Look for happy notes, happy letters, and happy people.(They’re out there)

Step 3: Start helping others.

There was a lady who I knolw was recently diagnosed with a horrible disease…:Lupus. She resented that she had the disease, she resented that she had a deadline on her life, and she resented that the drugs to help her would hurt her as well. There was nothing positive about this. Her friends tried to cheer her up, her kids threw her a “Live not lupus” party, and her husband proposed to her again. She cried, and cried, and cried.

One day she was walking through a doctors office and there was a post it note (Turns out it was one of mine…lol) It said

Why not help others be happy?

This post it note spoke to her. (A major reason we all need to put positive post it notes EVERYWHERE) She looked at that post it note for a very long time. She took that post it note off the wall and put it in her purse. Why not?  What a great idea…why not?  She went home, forgot about the lupus, and fixed up 20 sandwiches. She took them to a park and invited 20 homeless people to eat with her. She had a great time!  They were so thankful, they were so happy, they were so nice! Two days later she asked her family to join, and fed even more. As soon as she started helping others, and hearing other people’s stories about how bad they had it…she realized it wasn’t that bad of a thing.  Who knows…maybe a cure would be found before her time.

When we begin helping other and becoming more happy…the negativity falls away. In fact, a Princeton study stated that negativity will affect you and stick to you for years. However, 20 minutes of goodness will wipe it away. 1 year of positivity, being happy, and helping others will eliminate it all together.

So go out and look for ways to help others. (Note: Daily Motivating for Positive change) Help people because you want to!

Step 3. Do something towards your new you every day.

An old Buddhist saying states: A trip of 1000 miles starts with 1 step. Another saying says, All journeys are merely 1 step in front of the other done many many times.

No matter what or who you want to be…you have to start from step 1, and then step 2. Step 7658 is achievement. Do not dwell on Steps 3 – 7657, think only of the step you are on. If it helps, write down all the steps.

If you want to be a college graduate…step 1 – walk into the college. If you want to be happier – step 1 – how are you not happy now.

You have to start from somewhere and end up somewhere. That’s the way a journey works. The really cool part about the journey is that it can change, loop, spin, and cause you to change the ways you think or decide to think.

Whatever or whomever you wan tto be…you have to change the way you are doing things now. Change be changing the now person to a future person. Once you’ve accepted that you have to change…CHANGE!!!


1 Comment

  1. Pingback: Chad Herman on the radio…THE SHOW | Motivating For Positive Change

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