Whenever you’re about to do something on a phone or a computer you are always asked whether you want to continue you or not. It’s almost as if they are saying “are you sure you really want to do that?” They are giving you a second change. A chance to change your mind. This program is of the belief that this very might well might not have been what you meant to do. So, it’s asking if you are sure. If you really want to continue doing what you are doing. It’s actually asking you if this action is a good idea. Most of the time we see these little boxes and press continue without even thinking about it. However, this is also what we do in life…
You’re sitting having a wonderful day and someone comes up to you and does something to upset you. We all have our own triggers…all of us! This thing is one fo those things that always pisses you off and these people are ruining your “happy moment”. At this moment, wouldn’t it be great if you had a little box?
Do you realize how simple this would be. Do you know how often people would be less violent. You’re about to say something horrible…the box pops up. It gives you that 1 second moment to decide if this is really the right thing to do. An actual moment to decide if this is a good idea and if this will help things in the future. Violence, abuse, and negativity never help thing and definitely never help things in the future. Violence, abuse, and negativity will always lead to more violence, abuse, and negativity!
Wouldn’t it be great if we had this little box? Can you imagine how many bad moments could be erased. Imagine how many mis-spoken words could be retreated. Imagine how many wars could have been stopped. Imagine how many families could still be together. If only for that little box.
Remember what I said about us, the general population of the world, how we click through these boxes without even thinking. We see the box and click continue, because this is what we’re doing and this is what we wanted to do. However, how many of you have clicked on a box that popped up and found that you continued yourself right into a problem you didn’t want? I see those hands slowly raising, I’m not the only one who has done that. It’s because we aren’t paying attention to the boxes. If we’re not paying attention to them, we’re allowing them to pass right by. This is what we do in the living world all the time.
What if I told you we already have that box in our daily lives?
You would tell me I’m insane. OR You already see where this is going and would believe me. But it’s true. That box is called in our world – your breath. Your breath? Yes, your breath. The in and out motion of your diaphragm bringing in fresh air and breathing out used air to give to all the foliage around us. Meditation and mindfulness practitioners and teachers have been using the breath for years as a tool to be more mindful of the world, the now. You can use the breath too. Before you answer a question, before you make a statement, and before you use any kind of violence and abuse – BREATHE!
This will give you that 1 second. The one moment to decide whether this course of action is a good idea. This is your “are you sure box”. This is how it works and how to do it…but it takes a lot of practice.
Number 1 – Pay attention to your triggers. These are things that always upset you. No matter what’s going on, these things just upset you. This is very important! If you know what your triggers are, you will be able to prepare yourself when those things, people, or situations come into your life. Yes, there are some of us who have them around us all the time. You have to be the most careful and the most mindful.
Number 2 – Pat attention to your body. Your body will tell you everything…it’s good like that. The first alert that anger is coming is a thought of annoyance. Second, you will get a tightness in your chest. At this moment, you are in the middle of anger. Third, You will then have an overwhelming feeling of action. This action will either be physical or verbal.
DO NOT LET YOUR ANGER GET TO THE THIRD STAGE
Number 3 – Breathe. When you feel the anger, literally step back. Take a step back. Sit back. Anyway of moving yourself back from the situation. Now, once you are back and relaxed. Take a deep breath into your nose and then out through your mouth. Repeat this 3 times. You have now created the “are you sure box”. You now have a moment to decide if your actions are needed or not. Most of the time they are not needed. This also gives you a moment to take in your surroundings. Are you in public? Do you really want to bring other people into your problems? Are there kids around? Who will your actions hurt including yourself?
This well needed moment will give you that time to control yourself and stop you acting without thinking. But you’re not going to master this right away. Try on this on smaller moments like a minor disappointment or something ridiculous that is bothering you. Work on this technique everyday. Try it at stop lights. Try it in traffic jams. Try it when you visit your parents. The more you work at it, the better you will become at it.