25 things to be happy about

1. You are alive!

No matter what this is an amazing thing. There’s actualy a 1 in 50 million chance that you are born on the day, minute, and hour you were born on – BUT YOU DID IT!!

2. You are part of a family

There are orphans and foster homes chalk full of people who would LOVE to be able to say that!

3. Red and blue make purple, yellow and red make orange, blue and yellow make green, red and white make pink

Celebrate that two unlike things like colors can make something different

4. You can see the colors of #3

30% of all men, and 7% of all women are color blind. If you see color…Hooray!

5. In 2012, there were over 200,000 new websites created specifically to help people.

These websites were grant, charity, and humanitarian associated sites. These were just travel sites or something, but way to actually help your fellow man.

6. 1 million people signed a petition to end the destruction of the earth by fracking.

Fracking is a process of drilling and injecting fluid into the ground at a high pressure in order to fracture shale rocks to release natural gas inside. This destroys the natural building blocks of the earth…it is 100 times worse than just basic drilling!

7. This is a website dedicated to petitions and helping the world become a better place through petitioning.

This website is called change.org. It lists thousands and possibly millions of petitions, and the only rule is that the petition has to help out the world, people, or to do good in general. Check it out.

8. According to a study done by Google, there are more positive website than negative.

In fact, it is a ratio of 3 to 1.ratio.  The porn sites were listed in negative…imagine how much positive there really is on the net.

9. There are buildings all over the world that change their lighting for specific causes.

To name a very few, there is a building in Singapore that changes the colors for specific holidays and national movements such as cancer awareness. There is a building in Tampa that changes their lights to celebrate girls scouts day.

10. You have hands!!!

You have the ability to pick things up un inhibited. Hands and the opposing thumb makes us the superior animals we are.

11. You have legs!

Woop Woop! You have legs to be able to jump, walk, run, crawl, hop, etc, etc. This is an amazing ability…ask anyone who can’t use theirs to find how awesome they really are.

12. You don’t have a disease that is killing you.

 I currently live with or know over 10 people that are dying very swiftly from a disease. As I watch them deteriorate and the doctor visits increase and the hospital visitsd increase. When these things increase, you know they’re dying and you know things are going bad. How wonderful it is for this not to be happening to you!

13. People dress up as superheroes to clean windows of children’s hospitals.

How cool is that.

14. The company “Together we Can change the world” was created by a12 year old.

The theme song: Together we can change the world was also written by a 12 year old. What is her name…look it up. J

15. Humans have created a space ship that has left our solar system.

Voyager 1 is now past what was called Pluto. Let’s see what voyager see…

16. The human race quest for knowledge has pushed the human race farther than war and violence.

There was a recent miniseries on the History channel that depicted the human achievements through war, when in fact anthropologist have found it is the quest for knowledge that has pushed the human race not war.

17.Ghandi!

Mahatma Gandhi was a man who decided to become a better, peaceful, happy, positive person and has gone down in history as an amazingly good person. He single handedly inspired the Indian people to nonviolently take their liberty from England. Plus the amazing advice and quote: Be the change you want to be. As just an example of his great quotes.

18. All religions are based on love, nonviolence, and happiness.

No matter what religious book…every single one of them has happiness, nonviolence, and love as the basis of their viewpoint.  The translation and interpretations obscure this idea, but this si the basis of all religions.

19. We almost have a full cure for AIDS

In 1985…AIDS officially arrived as a horrible disease. Now in 2013…it is almost cured!!!  YAY!

20. There are hundreds of thousands of people working to cure every disease!

21. There are millions of trees that are selfishly producing all of the oxygen we need.

22. All of your organs are doing great!

23. SEX is wonderful and as an adult it is great to be part of it with another person.

24. F.E.E.D is in Target.

A company devoted to feeding the hungry.

25. You have the ability to change the world!!!!  

Yes you do!

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Paper the world with positivity

A simple thought placed in a populated area.

Taking some of my own advice, I decided to go out and inspire and motivate people with one of my own ideas: Put up positive message around your neighborhood like they do with lost dogs and cats.

A few days ago, I printed up 58 pieces of paper that had 4 different messages on them: Smile and be happy, Be nice to all people, Do something to help people, and End all violence.

As i walked down the main road, I thought about where people would look.  So, I did my best to put the messages in places that people would see and take notice.

That was about 2 weeks ago…I can’t tell you how many people have commented that it changed the way they did thigns that day. Now as you’re looking at these pictures, and reading the captions….why couldn’t you do this?  Why couldn’t this become something normal to see?

When I was taping this up, a person in a car asked what this means. I explained it means just that…Be Nice To All People!. He then asked,”Even when they aren’t nice to you?” I responded…Yes, we must be nice to all people. We are the examples of how the world should be and act. As ghandi put it, “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

In hopes that the kids on the school bus could read it!

As bus stop you are looking for something to do..because you’re just sitting there. Might as well read and be abetter person…just for today.

On every pole, on every corner, on every 4 way stop…positivity is spread.

Stop right now! Stop right now and do something to help people. Almost 2 weeks after putting these up, these signs are still on these stop signs!

Have a seat…and help end all violence!

Please, if you decide to duplicate this…post it in the comments or send it to me and I will post it on the blog. Let’s start a movement.

NEW..So you want tot change the world video

This morning I stood in front of 30 students. They all say and looked at me with quirky looks at me…they were all middle schools students. These are the kids that have been told “NO” and “Do what I say” so much that they believe it and hate the fact that it exists – but hey, what can they do about it – they’re just kids.

Just kids.

Just a girl.

Just a guy.

Just a bum.

Just one person.

Just…..

There are more justs than I can name, nor do I want to. This are the limiting beliefs that we have given these students time and time again. As soon as they were potty trained they were told they couldn’t go potty…remember many of these kids have been in school since they were 2. They’ve been asked waht they want to do “when they grow up”, “when they get older”, “when they get out of here/there”, “when they get smarter”,  or “when they understand more”. 

I asked these 12-14 year olds if they saw any problems in the world. They listed off all the big ones: homeless, cancer, stealing, violence, etc.

I asked these 12-14 year olds if they had any solutions to these problems. They listed off multiple solutions for multiple problems….enough in fact, that we could take their ideas and create a nonprofit on it’s own.

Then I asked why they didn’t do something…and they said – because we’re just kids. There’s that limiting belief again.

So I ask (regardless of age, race, creed, ability

Do you want to change the world?

I think the real question is why wouldn’t you want to change the world. Look around and you will see a lot of opportunities for you to help major causes and affect positive change. You are an agent of change…most of all I want you to know it!

YOU CAN CREATE POSITIVE CHANGE

Change the world with your money

 

 

Sit back.

Relax.

Allow me to tell you a story:   A person came up with an idea for a product. It was catchy. It had infomercials. It had celebrities posting with it, labeling, endorsing it…the whole nine yards (to use a colloquial saying that means to shoot 9 yards(27 feet) of amo at the enemy) Then it was sold at the high end and the low end markets. It was even made in the USA..which brought it even more consumers and fan based. It was a household name and so were the subsequent follow up  lines. They were so popular, a whole store was created around it. It was amazing! The creators and everyone involved sat back and counted their money.

Note: The product was made in the outskirts of Chicago. It was made in wharehouse that was not up to standards at all. They could not pass any of the minimum standards of hygene, labor, or structure. However, the code enforcers new jaguar, new zip code, and new bank account made sure they were never bothered. They churned out the product faster than any product before. However, when you give children red bull and methamphetamines, they work faster – but also die faster. When they grow up they are used as sex slaves, and another batch of children are moved in.

The company who funds this product is also the same company that creates ozone destroying products.

Is this a real story?  Yes, it is told, retold, and done, and redone every second in our world. We can watch this happen with everything from dusters, to vacuums, to cars, and beer.

Recently a shop just like this burned down and killed hundreds. But let’s look at how this is perpetuated:

step 1 –  person is enticed to get product (lived fine without it before).

Step 2 – person buys product.

Step 3 – money is sent to people who own child slaves and sex slaves.

No money – no reason to have the business which means no child slaves.

(BTW – If you don’t use the prostitutes, there will be no need for them)

Just don’t buy the stuff. Investigate where your stuff comes from. If this is the reality, don’t fund the problem.

How to be a Real Man

My son came home and asked if I knew how to play football. Let me start out by saying, I don’t like football, I don’t play football, and I’m not too happy about the violence or view of masculinity that football promotes.  But hey, this is a teachable moment and an opportunity to spend some quality time with my son – I was definitely not going to pass this up. In the middle of conversations about passing, fumbles, and touch downs I asked him why he had never told me he was interested in football before.

His answer shook me to the core:       Because the other kids at P.E. said that I was a Faggot and an F-word idiot if I didn’t play football. They said I wasn’t a real boy and I should go play with the stupid girls because that’s where I belong. My son has High Functioning Autism and a few other things. A lot of his mannerisms are odd. He gets called gay/Faggot whatever on a daily basis! It’s sad, but it is our reality.

As the tears streamed down his face, I gave him a hug. As I did that I overheard my misogynistic sexist neighbor say to his son as he watched us: See that’s’ why that boy is turning out gay like that. The same thing was said when I hugged my oldest boy in the mall. That was the last time he hugged me, especially since it was a group of his friends that said it.

After all of these years trying to get people to live peacefully and for there to be equal rights between the genders,  I was right back to where I began; a snot nose kid with my masculinity in question and so was my son. I had spent years being called every name in the book, and even left because I didn’t fit in the “guy” mold (whatever this is).

My mom made sure that respect for women and how you treat women was paramount in my raising. If I didn’t open the door for her or any other women for that matter, I felt her nails across my neck pulling me back to correct my mistake. If I even looked sideways or made a comment that suggested I had any disrespect for women, I was corrected immediately. I learned about the suffrage movement, the loss of feminine power, and the violence men dished out on a steady basis.  All that changed around 7 years old when my mother began a relationship with a physically verbally abusive man. He was a man’s man: heavy equipment operator, cowboy, welder, hunter, beer drinking, testosterone drunk, male. What I call my “feminist education” immediately screeched to a halt.

Crying, whistling, skipping, caring for animals, feeling bad for people who got hurt, flowers, nature, and anything else that he saw was “like a girl” was eliminated immediately. If I didn’t want to eliminate it, a steady barrage of taunts, and phrases like “you’re a wous”, “little pussy”, bitch, faggot, sissy, and the one I got called the most – “momma’s boy”, flew at me with reckless abandonment. These phrases would follow me through the yard, through the doors, through the walls, and into the fights he would have with my mother about me. According to him, I was the worst kind of boy there was – “a girlie boy”.

After the taunts didn’t work to his satisfaction, the physical attacks began. It began simply enough, a smack on the back to say hello that almost dropped me to my knees. A punch in the arm that pushed four steps away to make sure I got a joke. The “two hits for flinching” game. The “hurts don’t it” game. Then at 10 came the true male education: boxing, football, wrestling and shooting.

Step 1: Watch the game.  We sit down and I do a lot of watching him drink and yell at the TV. Then we glorify the violence on TV by slapping and hitting each other.

Step 2: Learn the rules while playing the game.  He tells me a small amount of rules of the game, we begin playing and I am advised of the rules as I get hit, beat, and thrown around the yard.  But I must always remember the more violent the better.

Step 3: Shoot and destroy Barbie. This was practice for hunting. If I could destroy Barbie with a dart gun, then I moved up weaponry until I was blasting barbies out of the air with a 12 gauge shotgun.

Throughout this education, good learning and proper manly actions were rewarded with a smack on the back that usually took my breath away and bad learning and actions were chastised with more taunts and intimidation. To put the intimidation into perspective, he was a 6 foot 7 construction worker and I was a 5 foot tall skinny middle school student.

Now my mother was a very strong woman so she added constantly to my education and my understanding of the world; and now that I look back on it all, I see that she said the right things at the right time to make me hear her over all of the “masculine” nonsense. But in her own words, she wanted someone just like her father and for a very long time she was comfortable with all of the abuse. It was like she had finally found the home she had been kicked out of at 15. Her father threw her out of the house by her hair for getting pregnant; ironically she lost the baby because of all of the stress. So she was powerless to stop him and his violence because she saw it as just boys being boys. If she said anything, she was put in her place through taunts, intimidation, and abuse. In the end, she just hugged me and told me she loved me. As much as I had been taught that hugging and lovey stuff was for girls, it was always something I took advantage of when I could get it.

My masculine education ended when I was thrown out of a window for defending another boy. My mother, I, and her boyfriend were sitting in the living room watching TV. It was a week away from my high school graduation and a newsflash came on, back when we got our news and information from the TV and not the internet. Somewhere in the Midwest a high school kid about the same age as I was openly stated he was gay. Now, I had been taught by my mother that “some boys date girls, some boys date boys, and some girls date girls” and that was that. HE had never said anything about people that were gay; even though he used all the derogatory words for gay men, I never associated them with people who were gay.  I had always seen who someone dates as their choice and nothing more.

Back to the TV news flash: The 18 year old was jumped by a group of guys,  drug behind their pickup truck for a mile or so, tied to a barbed wire fence, peed on and had beer poured all over him. His wounds were so extensive that by the time they found him he had bled to death. It floored me that someone could be so cruel.

“That’s what he deserved. That’s what they should do with all them fudge packers. Damn faggots!” was the words that came out of his mouth. I can hear them as clearly now 20+ years later as that night. I spoke up, yelled, screamed, and the fight was on. In the end, I landed in a pile of glass outside my living room, and he landed himself in a drunk tank for 3 days. I left my house and all that behind till I was staring in the face of a little girl and a book mark.

At age 33, I was a divorcee, the proud father of an awesome daughter, and starring at a book mark that was being held by my girlfriend. As my small child stood there smiling, my girlfriend read off the things that were on this book mark that she said described me. As she read them, I informed her of why I did the things I did.

“tries to control me” – No I don’t. I just know the way to do things better than you do.

“is possessive” – that’s’ what dating is about. You are MY girlfriend.

“makes all decisions” – Because I know the right decisions and you don’t. If you did it would be different.

“keeps me from seeing my friends and family” – They annoy me, so if I keep them away from US. Plus, every time you go see them they say horrible things about me.  You don’t see my friends doing that, do you? Plus, why wouldn’t you want to hang out with me instead?

“always blames me” – Stop doing things to be blamed for them.

“minimizes things that are going on” – That’s because you’re an emotional  girl and make too much of things.

“threatens to leave me if I don’t do what I’m told” – Yeah, if we’re not getting along then the relationship isn’t working. Duh!

“makes me cry” – You’re a girl…an emotional mess. You decide to cry. I don’t make you do anything.

Then she read the bottom: If you recognize any of these warning signs, you are probably in a abusive relationship. She looked at me and said, guess what you’re an abuser. What? How did this happen? The one thing I was trying to avoid. The one thing I was running away from. How did I get here?  Then my daughter saw that I was getting angry and started crying. I yelled, “Stop crying. You have nothing to cry about! Crying is stupid!”  She cried more and I yelled more. I walked past the mirror and there I was – the exact man I never wanted to be.

My 3 year old cried herself to sleep and I later went in to check on her. As she lay there with her tear stained pillow and cheeks I picked up a pink Barbie notebook filled with scribbles and flipped to a blank page. I began writing down the characteristics of the type of man I wanted my little girl to marry. I wanted her to marry a man just like me, but the characteristics I put down were not the man I was. They were the man I could have been. They were of the man I wanted me to be. That night the girlfriend left, and I am glad she did. Her parents raised her right; raised her to see when she was in an abusive relationship, even if it didn’t involve physical violence. I think the bookmark was all she needed to remind her of whom she was and where she didn’t need to be. My life and the way I lived it changed that night.

Kneeling in the road in front of my house, I hugged my little boy tighter and tighter. I pulled him close to me and gave him a great big kiss, all the things that the “bro code” says I’m not supposed to do to a man or a boy. As his face smooshed into my chest, I cried. I cried because I knew where he was. I cried because I knew how he felt on that school field. I cried because he would have to go through all of this and it’s not any easier looking on this side of growing up then his side. I cried because he should be allowed to be exactly that wonderful, imperfect boy he is; the same boy we all are. I cried because I don’t want him to be judged or pushed into thinking a certain way.  I cried because no matter what I say to him, his peers will push, punch, and yell louder.  I cried because this isn’t the first time he has been judged for his masculinity. I cried because his sisters will be forced to be with men like those boys that made him hurt, and they will hurt them.  I cried because I wish I had a Dad like me. I cried because it doesn’t have to be this way.

But I honestly wonder why does this exist? Why is it that men need to live in this shell of violent masculinity? Why do so many men see this as the right way to be? Why do so many men uphold this power and control driven way of being? Why must men force other men to be “just like them”? Where did men see this as the right way of being?  I’m fortunate to have seen firsthand what boys experience unconsciously and there is a need to prevent this type of brain washing and sexist socialization.

No, I don’t have all the answers. No, I don’t even have the answers to all of MY questions.   But I do know a solution; a solution that all of us men can use. I took hold of my son’s shoulders and we wiped each other’s tears away. I told him what he needed to do:

You need to be a real man!

A real man has empathy for others, feels his emotions, and wants to help others in trouble no matter what that trouble is.

Real men look for ways to promote nonviolence and uplift all people.

Real men look for solutions to the problems the world is having right now.

Real men don’t bully, demean, or use violence; those things have never helped the world.

Real men educate other men about respect, kindness and empathy. Remember, respect is treating others how THEY want to be treated, as long as it’s not violent.

Real men stand up for what is right, even when everyone else is doing the wrong thing.

Real men use their knowledge and their strength to help and assist women, not lead and control them.

As we walked into the house I pondered the questions I still hadn’t answered. But you know, if all men stood up, spoke up, and began being a “real man” – I wonder if those questions wouldn’t become obsolete….I’d like to think so

Hakuna Matata – No worries!

It means no worries

It means no worries

 

 

It means no worries!!

Why worry?

Worrying creates negativity into your world!  Worrying is creating and wondering about a future that has been created yet!

There was once a young lady I knew who worried about everything.  Everything! She worried what might happen in the future. What would happen in the next hour. What would happen with her life. What would happen in school. What would happen at the job, and with her boss. (why the boss…I’m not sure!) Every time I sat down with her, she would complain about the things that “could” happen.  Then she would complain about what might happen.

One particular day, I went over to her house and she had been watching the news all day. This always got her very down…because the news always gives her reasons to worry! She was so upset…she didn’t want to do anything but talk about how bad things were.

Because in her eyes they were.

I picked her up and took her to a homeless mission, and we served food to people. I took her to a domestic violence outreach center, and we helped make copies to teach a class about preventing domestic violence. Then we sutied up and cleaned a mile of road, while people honked and thanked us.

At the end of the day she said: Wow…things are better than I realized, and I have it pretty good.

Is this a real story (by me asking would assume it was not).

YES it is!

We are all so connected to our own version of reality, that we don’t know anything else. We are taught from a very tender age that we must worry about a future that hasn’t been created yet. Thinking in the past or thinking in the future. It is what I call….”their bubble”. We spend so much time in our own little bubble thinking our own things in our own ways, and then we surround ourselves with people who think like us, do like us…to the point that we surround us in a bubble of things we like, enjoy, accept, and agree with. When we step out of this bubble…we see reality!

When we look at what is really going on, we begin to be thankful for the world around us rather than worrying about what might happen!

So Hakuna Matata!

New You Tube Video – Children are Little Time Travelers

This si the description of the video I put on you tube.:

Every adult was once a child. Each adult is a product of the people who raised them. Whether that raising made you a go getter, or made you lazy; our parents helped define who we are and who we have become. Therefore, whenever you are around children-mentor them so that they will create an amazing future. “Children are little time travelers from the future.” What they learn now, they will use to create the future of our world. Be nice and respectful to the children!

This mere fact has always amazed me. One day I was reading the paper and I read that a group of people voted against the government paying for a park in their neighborhood. I then thought about the world that I live in is like it is because of the what the adults created from thoughts and momeories that they created and were taught as children. Right now, I could have a world that has no cigarette smoke hurting my lungs, medical for all people in my country so that I could go to a doctor about my broken ribs and lung diseases, and there would be no people hungry, and all energy was free and created by solar and wind energy  – this is the world I could live in. These were all real bills that were proposed to Congress and the Senate when I was very very young.

I wish I could go back in time and tell them that these are needed so much more than other things are. These would change how my life looks for the better.

No..we can’t do that yet. But, look in the eyes of the children. What type of world would they like to have?  Ask them what kind of world they would like their world to be. You will get a very sobering answer filled with hope, prosperity, a lack of violence, and the ability to live a normal healthy life. So when we do things and we vote, lets keep their world in mind.

How would our world look if the adults when you were a kid voted like this?